QUESTION
Is Sex Before Marriage A SIN?
ANSWER
In as much as some people are more sexually active than others and that doesn’t make them bad people. But I would encourage them tactfully to reconsider their behaviour?
Having a sexual relationship, outside of the context of marriage, is not a part of God’s plan for anyone. So let’s look at both the message you need to share and how best you can communicate it to them.
God made sex a very good thing. In making us sexual beings God made it possible for husband and wife to unite themselves in a deep, permanent and exclusive way. He also made it possible for husband and wife to share in His power of creation when this sexual exchange bears children. But sex should be shared between two only when there has been this permanent and exclusive commitment which is also open to children.
It’s crucial to know that sex is also, in a sense, a “language.” As a language, sex is a way for a couple to communicate certain truths to each other. These truths cannot be separated from sex because God is the one who designed it. One thing that sex says is, “I’m committed to you for life!” Furthermore, it says, “I’m committed to you and you alone for life!” The main issue with sex outside of marriage is that it is a lie. Two people who are not permanently and exclusively committed to each other in marriage ought not to try and say, with their bodies, that they are. When this happens, I think the act of sex confuses things a lot! And deep down, I think everyone knows that. The issue is that, sometimes, these good desires, meant to be shared with one’s spouse, will do great damage when used in any other way. It is clear that anyone having a sexual relationship outside of marriage knows that what they are doing is wrong. And, of course, we can’t forget about the fact that sex is also made for the possibility of children. So, in essence, when two have sex they are also saying that I am ready to have a child if God so chooses to bless us with one.
